it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
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Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
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YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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