Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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