She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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