whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize