I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize