So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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