I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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