Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
