I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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