so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
its not stalking. its research.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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