She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize