I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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