i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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