You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
