The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
