I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
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I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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