What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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