At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
