So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
