I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize