I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
