Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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