He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
