Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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