i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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