if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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