why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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