Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
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She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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