would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
