Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
