They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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