I wish my penis had an off switch
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
