In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize