Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
