I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
