first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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