I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
