I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
there is glitter all over my balls
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
