Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
