fuck your aforementioned shoe
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize