I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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