thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
