Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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