It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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