She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
