I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
