I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
There's always time for handjobs
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize