She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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