The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
