all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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