2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
