I wish life had little blips of pornography
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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