Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
