I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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