One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
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Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
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I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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