Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
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Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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